Road Trip Summer ’09 (AKA the trip that got it’s balls cut off)

Let me preface this post by saying:

Dear Mom,

I know you are our only faithful reader, and I’m sorry to use the word “balls” in your online presence, but there is really no way around it.  I apologize.


Your daughter,



Yesterday, Weston and I began our roadtrip out West.  The idea for this trip originally came about after we visited Rocky Mountain National Park in January.  I say that we decided to go on a road trip to see more national parks.  Weston says that the plan developed after he said, “I’m goin’ out West, woman, and you can either come or stay here.”  After I agreed to travel with this delusional man, we sat down to plan the route.

We spent hours talking about places we definitely wanted to see (Montana, Utah, Chicago) and places we wished we could see but just couldn’t fit in the schedule (basically anywhere in Canada).  Finally we plugged our route into Google maps, and this is what we saw:

dick map with balls

Yes, that’s right.  An anatomically correct penis.  And the amazing thing about it is we had no idea it would look like this!  We had to wait until the end of the planning to find out just how offensive this roadtrip would be.

The problem with this route is that there is just not enough time to see everything properly.  We didn’t want to cut any place out of the trip, especially since it would mutilate the shape of things.  We had accidentally devised the most epic-looking roadtrip of all time, and we wanted to keep it just the way it was.  Since this became impossible, we did the next-best thing:

dick with no balls

We will now call this route “Still inappropriate, but within a time frame”.

6 responses to “Road Trip Summer ’09 (AKA the trip that got it’s balls cut off)

  1. leeanne dollins

    you are two cute! happy traveling…..i hope you have a great time

  2. The pics are great and that map is one in a million. Love you. Happy trails!


  3. Nanette Shoemaker

    Aww to be young again. From now when we do a road trip…I have a whole new way to map it out(probably smaller though). Be safe.


  4. leeanne dollins

    mary mackenzie….call, text, or blog your mother!!! Immediately, if not sooner!

  5. leeanne dollins

    mary–you are grounded. go to your room/tent/carseat and consider carefully that you have not stayed in touch with your mother in the manner in which you agreed to before you left and give yourself the consequences you think are appropriate. i need to hear from you soon, don’t make me come out there!

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